Thursday, May 12, 2016
EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE (1995)
Prime example of why 90s Hollywood cinema is garbage. I'm pretty sure the only reason anyone has ever viewed this film is to see Alyssa Milano doing her first nudie scenes after being Tony Danza's little sweetheart on WHO'S THE BOSS?. So I guess if you just wanna fast forward through all the stupid boring parts go ahead or just watch those clips online like a smart person. Being a masochist I did view this whole movie and somehow managed to stay awake while doing so. It's quite boring. There's a lame-ass vampire who I guess is bi-sexual because he transforms into a horny Jennifer Tilly at one point to make out with the male lead. Milano plays a virginal girl at first but then becomes sort-of a lesbian before it all ends. The plot concerns our dumb vampire trying to get Milano to fall in love with him. Why he doesn't just bite her and get it all over with really quickly I'm not sure but whatever. Don't watch this unless you like bad 90s fashion, shitty soundtrack music, dull characters and a dreaded TWILIGHT-like romantic theme. AKA THE NOSFERATU DIARIES: EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE
There was a remake in 2012 because I guess there's a law now that they have to remake everything that was ever done before.