Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Gary Kent, who I remember as the killer in that weird ghosts-in-the-woods slasher THE FOREST, stars here as a disturbed rapist who, along with his equally disturbed retard-o brother, keeps a few gals in chains in their cellar for fun. Also they both take orders from their mom who you're never quite sure actually exists outside of their fevered imaginations. Directed by the same fellow as THE FOREST, Don Jones, who also did the sorta messed up 70's proto-slasher THE LOVE BUTCHER, this is a pretty sleazy and nutty film sure to piss off feminists and other pc-types. There's rape, needles in asses to keep the ladies sedated, allusions to Hitchcock's PSYCHO, gals led around on leashes like dogs and just a great example of something that could really only have been made in the 70's. There's also some terrible songs thrown in with horrendous vocals that strangely fit the mood of everything else off-kilter that's going on. Watch it if you enjoy real 70's offensive grindhouse trash. AKA GIRLS IN CHAINS, COME PLAY WITH US and LET'S PLAY DEAD
Ugly paintings, gore and creepiness!:
Sunday, April 26, 2015
This has a really awesome opening sequence where we get the titular, hairy, gigantically-nippled, wolf-lady on a bloody rampage. Then she ends up getting the burned-at-the-stake witch treatment(although how they subdue her and actually get her onto that stake without losing a jugular vein is not fleshed out at all?). As with so many of these eurotrash horror flicks we then jump to the modern day where the past comes back to haunt a very unhinged gal who has some werewolf-like hallucinations and goes on a neck biting spree to combat the memories of being raped. The problem with having such a strong opening is that the rest of the movie inevitably will not hold up and that's very true here. Also once you get past the beginning segment not so much actual werewolf action occurs. Fortunately there's enough rampant nudity, bloody violence and would-be rapists(it seems that 90% of all the men our main character runs across are sexual assailants!) that it keeps things exciting although your mileage may vary depending on your propensity towards liking sleazy trash. Luckily I adore it! AKA THE LEGEND OF THE WOLF WOMAN, TERROR OF THE SHE WOLF and SHE-WOLF.
A true story!?:
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
The first X-rated cartoon feature! Also it's a look back at the radical 60's, race-relations, sexual freedom and general craziness. Of course it's all done through the filter of 1972 so it's all as equally downbeat as it is groovy. Apparently Fritz's original creator R. Crumb was not a fan but he's a pretty strange fellow so that's not very surprising. I first saw this movie on The Playboy Channel as a kid and it blew my little mind(although I was probably pissed that they were showing toons instead of porns!). I last saw it in a theater at midnight on 35mm film the way god intended and it's still a great trip! If you're gonna watch any cartoon movies and you don't suck I'm thinking this is your best bet. I think my favorite character, watching it this time, was the biker/junkie rabbit who beats up his horsey-girlfriend when not violently trying to bring down the establishment or shooting up. I mean how many cartoons do you get revolutionary nazi dope-addicted rabbits in anyway?
There was a sequel made two years later that was pretty good also but if I recall correctly this one tops it.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
This is the last of the "Blood Island" trilogy and a sequel to MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND with John Ashley reprising his role from that film. The movie starts out with a bang as our rampaging monster from BLOOD ISLAND kicks ass aboard a boat killing the entire crew before causing the ship to explode into a million pieces. Unfortunately as is the case in most of these Filipino horror epics the middle part gets very talky(and boy is there some stupid dialogue in this!) and then it turns into more of a war movie having to do with some battling tribes which is kind of a letdown. There is some footage of a monstrous head-removal/head-transplant that gets quite graphic with the surgery scenes and it all ends pretty violently with a headless ghoul on a rampage so it's not a total waste of time. AKA BLOOD DEVILS, BEAST OF THE DEAD, HORRORS OF BLOOD ISLAND and RETURN TO THE HORRORS OF BLOOD ISLAND
I'm gonna assume the CURSE OF THE VAMPIRES on the movie poster is the one from 1966 which was an earlier Filipino horror.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Shaw Brothers' Hong Kong rape/revenge movie that plays out like your standard kung-fu flick where revenge is sought out, a master is found to teach fighting skills and then many asses are kicked or in this case many crotches are stabbed repeatedly. This has to be one of the most penis-wounding movies I've ever seen! At times it almost has a MS. 45 feel to it but since this was made in Asia the feminist message isn't so clear cut here. It also has a bit of a LADY SNOWBLOOD vibe at points (and I guess by extrapolation also a KILL BILL vibe). Pretty entertaining sleazy mash-up of kung-fu, rape/revenge and as a bonus there's a pretty stellar soundtrack that mostly plays in go-go bar/whorehouse scenes. If you're slimy enough this one's worth a watch.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
This teensploitation flick has one of the greatest trailers ever so I've been wanting to see it for a while now. Of course not being a rube I knew it would never live up to the seedy promises of the trailer and it doesn't. In fact it seems that they filmed some stuff just for the trailer that isn't even in the movie but I guess I can forgive it since it was still an entertainingly silly watch. The story is about a gal who tries to trap a nice guy into marrying her by pretending to be preggo and also this other idiot named Duke who is a drug-dealer and wanna-be rapist. The money-shot here is footage of an actual childbirth which is performed with what look like large metal salad tongs and made me squirm a bit which is pretty good for something from the 60's. There's also some cool 60's go-go dancing on display so check it out or just watch the trailer for a quicker thrill.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
So this dude (Robert Sabin) moves into an apartment that has some cool goth/punk neighbors but also a scary/slimy secret. I always felt this movie would make a good double-feature with STREET TRASH since it's a similar tale of splattery grossness where people melt due to some old cursed beverages. Also it seems like a Troma film that Troma didn't make or even end up buying which seems a bit miraculous since they seem to have bought almost every other low-budget weirdo flick from this era. In this one there's some old-time cult thing involved. What their exact purpose is I'm not too sure but I am sure Satan is involved somehow. The great and gross 80's practical fx work is the highlight here since it's a fairly simple tale that feels like something you might see in a CREEPSHOW/anthology-sorta thing stretched out to feature length but it moves along speedily enough. They also rip-off/pay-homage-to that stomach-vagina thing in VIDEODROME with a toothy gaping belly wound here. Slime, gore, boobs! Right on!
There was a sequel to this made in 2010 but since it was made in 2010 I've been in no rush to actually watch it. Maybe one day I will break down and give it a spin.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
A whole shitload of awesome 60's & 70's gore and violence trailers are on display in this horror compilation that originally appeared back in the 80's on VHS before such things as Youtube existed which makes things like this seem very dated and obsolete now. There's also some newer segments made featuring a movie theater full of zombies watching all these clips, the titular Mad Ron who's an insane projectionist and a ventriloquist guy and his cadaver-puppet friend who make really lame jokes. I found watching this to be a cool throwback to my youth and great way to waste some time. Depending on your age and love of nostalgia you might just find it stupid and pointless but in that case you might just be a terrible person.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Classic BATMAN star Adam West gets top-billing here but doesn't show up until around the 45-minute mark and then just sits around for most of the rest of the movie. As far as zombie movies go this is pretty far down there around the bottom of the barrel. It really plays out more like a slasher flick where a musclehead is brought back from the dead thanks to the wonders of voodoo to get revenge on his murderers. There's only one actual zombie that shows up the whole time but he is played by Canadian heavy-metal god Thor so that's neat. Speaking of heavy-metal that is also one of the big pluses in this flick, the soundtrack. It starts right out with Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" and then you get jams by Girlschool, Pantera, Fist, Death Mask, Virgin Steele and of course Thor. There is a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of this which is way more entertaining but it also cuts out kill scenes and blood and such so that sucks. I guess the ultimate version would be a combination of some sort. Also noteworthy is that this was Tia Carrere's first movie before becoming well-known for her WAYNE'S WORLD role.
This same year Thor starred in the similarly-titled Canadian horror flick ROCK N ROLL NIGHTMARE which I need to check out some time.
Linda Blair is supposed to be the star of this movie but really only appears in some wraparound footage at the beginning and end of the film and her voice is heard in some narration that pops up every now and then. We do get to see her shoot a very young-looking Penn Jillette right in the head so that's something. The rest of the movie is made up of footage from Italian/Spanish women-in-prison turds ESCAPE FROM HELL and HOTEL PARADISE(aka ORINOCO: PRISONER OF SEX and BLOOD FOR LIBERTY) both from 1980. Now I don't think I've ever seen these two flicks in their complete versions but these spliced-up cuts make them seem pretty lame. There are some explosions and transexual star Ajita Wilson shows up as a badass prisoner for a while but for the most part this whole thing is pretty forgettable and there are many more exciting women-in-prison adventures you should check out before this one, like CHAINED HEAT for one, actually starring Linda Blair.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
This is one of my favorite movies. Mostly because it's so completely batshit crazy. Basically it's an Indonesian rip-off of THE TERMINATOR but since it's Indonesian they threw in a bunch of wacky folklore about women with snakes that come out of there vaginas and bite off cocks and other odd stuff. The main character, of course, is completely badass and awesome and kicks much ass but she is slightly overshadowed by a white fellow with a mullet named snake who drives around on a tank and spouts out some silly dialogue like "fuckin' A!" and "eat it bitch" while battling our villainous lady demon. It's as if THE TERMINATOR met one of those eastern demonic possession flicks and they sprinkled in a little WAYNE'S WORLD just for the hell of it. Castrations galore, laser beams shot from eyes, lots of nudity, ample explosions and Indonesian punk rockers make for a good mix.
Apparently the VHS release of this is cut and some scenes are repeated to pad it out so DVD is the way to go to get the complete experience. AKA NASTY HUNTER and SHOOTING STAR
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Director Walerian Borowczyk made the amazing and bizarre film THE BEAST in 1975 and this artsy nunsploitation flick in '78, and, yeah, I know he made a bunch of other stuff also but these are the only two films of his that I've seen so far. This one is based on a novel which seems strange since there doesn't really seem to be much of a story at all. It's more of a collection of pervy scenes involving naughty nuns. I was hoping it would be a but more insane than that but it's pretty standard stuff for this sleazy subgenre. There's a dildo carved out of wood with Jesus face on it, lots of nude yoga and the expected lesbianic romping. Besides this though it's just artsy nunsploitation. I have to say I'm more of a Bruno mattei fan when it comes to the sleaze flicks so this one didn't really dazzle me much but if you like naughty art give it a watch. AKA WITHIN A CLOISTER and SEX LIFE IN A CONVENT