THE SIDEHACKERS (1969)

                                                  "C'mon, men aren't beautiful."

  I own this in a DVD set with a bunch of biker movies and even though there are a couple of scenes where our characters race motorbikes(motorbikes with sidecars hacked on!) it really is more of a rape/revenge movie. The things do go a little further than just rape and the revenge ends on a very nihilistic note. A movie that seems to be universally hated but I have watched it a few times now and I think I enjoy it more each time. It is famously featured on an episode of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 but obviously that's a very edited version. AKA FIVE THE HARD WAY

                    Playing with another biker movie that's not all that much about bikers:

DEATH RIDERS (1976)

 There was a big fascination with stuntmen back in the 70s. No doubt this was spurred on by the popularity of Evel Knievel. As a documentary this is probably more interesting to me as a time capsule looking back at a crazy decade where it seemed like anything goes than anything else. Of course your propensity for nostalgia will determine how you rate this since it's not a particularly informative documentary but more of a slice of life for some folks with a unique occupation. AKA STAR SPANGLED BUMMER

SCREAM OF THE DEMON LOVER (1970)

 A lady scientist(Erna Schürer) shows up at the castle of a Baron(Carlos Quiney) who has a reputation for loving women and then murdering them. But is he the murderer or is there a darker secret to unveil? Well this is a gothic Eurotrash 70s flick so inevitably things will get a bit weird and sexy before it's done. A bit of a slow-moving one but if you enjoy these types of old dark castle flicks it's probably worth a look and there is a crap-faced monster involved. AKA ALTAR OF BLOOD, KILLERS OF THE CASTLE OF BLOOD and BLOOD CASTLE

 

                                  Known as THE CASTLE OF FRANKENSTEIN in Mexico!:

Original Italian title THE CASTLE WITH THE GATES OF FIRE:

Originally played in The U.S. on a double bill with this American vampire flick:

ONE SHOCKING MOMENT (1965)

                    "You're like the rest of the perverted bastards that call themselves men!

  Ted V. Mikels 3rd movie features a couple(Gary Kent and Lee Anna) who end up in swinging 60s Los Angeles. Not the most exciting sexploitation flick of that time but you do get the usual cheating, stripping and softcore thrills. There's a lesbian dominatrix character(Verne Martine) who enjoys abusing men that adds to the spiciness. AKA SUBURBAN AFFAIR

So shocking that you can watch the whole thing right on YouTube!:

MAU-MAU (1955)

  In true classic exploitation style this was marketed at the time like it was some nudie-cutie featuring romping nekked natives. In reality what you get is mostly just really dull newsreel footage and a blandly narrated documentary about a Kenyan tribe rising up against British colonial rule. It is mildly interesting in that it's basically the blueprint for what became mondo movies in the next decade. 

WEEKEND OF TERROR (1970)

  Robert Conrad and The Six Million Dollar Man himself(Lee Majors) kidnap 3 nuns and hold them hostage for a ransom. Pretty decent made-for TV movie from back when those things were still good. I feel like if you threw in a few sleazier elements this could have been a classic exploitation flick for drive-ins and grindhouses. 

BURNOUT (1979)

  Lots of scenes of cars drag racing fill out this slim tale of an aspiring driver(Mark Schneider) who argues with his dad(Bob Louden) a lot. There's not much I can say about this except watch it if you really like copious amounts of stock footage of race cars. Despite the sexy poster there's no sex in this one. Director Graham Meech-Burkestone would thankfully go on to do makeup on a few other films instead of directing anything else. 

A SCREAM IN THE STREETS (1973)

 Quite a bit of this sexploitation flick is taken up by long drawn-out sex scenes, which I guess is, if that's all you're looking for, a recommendation but it really breaks up whatever narrative momentum the movie is able to muster. While it's not quite hardcore there are a lot of limply hanging wieners on display. The plot that wraps around these sex bits concerns two cops on the hunt for a rapist/murderer who somehow escapes detection by dressing up as a very unconvincing lady. Clearly not the most trans-positive PC movie but that's the 70s for ya.  One weird recurring thing that happens in this is people getting hit with or running through glass and not getting a scratch on themselves. I guess people were just tougher back then. While not the worst softcore sex flick you could watch I can't help feel like it could've been edited a lot better. 

   

THE MONSTER OF THE OPERA (1964)

 I know director Renato Polselli mainly for that movie THE REINCARNATION OF ISABEL which is a pretty crazy Eurotrash flick. This is an earlier work of Mr. Renato but it still has some pretty wild elements. Clearly influenced by THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA but in this case instead of a phantom(was the original PHANTOM even really a phantom at all?) you get a vampire who likes to chain his female victims up in his secret chamber underneath an old haunted opera house for fun. You also get a really wacky scene of a bunch of girls dancing for their lives because apparently vampires can only get you if you stop moving?   There's also a sprinkling of lesbian overtones thrown in. While not everything makes a lot of sense it's still an enjoyable enough gothic trip. Released on DVD more precisely as VAMPIRE OF THE OPERA

Known in France as ORGY OF THE VAMPIRES:

BOWERY BOMBSHELL (1946)

  This is only the 3rd in The Bowery Boys series of films. Not my favorite in the series but pretty standard for The Boys. This time they get mixed up with some bank robbing gangsters and have to clear their name. There are impersonations of Edward G. Robinson and the old SCARFACE movie in this one and also a mad scientist that turns a guy into a walking bomb(hence the title). SPOOK BUSTERS is next and that was always one of my favs just for it's haunted house setting. 

BOWERY BOMBSHELL

UNINVITED (1988)

  A killer cat escapes from a laboratory where it was infected with this disease that makes humans that it bites explode blood out of their bodies. Oh and there's also a mutant cat that rips out of our regular-looking cat every now and then to wreak havoc. Most of the action takes place on a boat where George Kennedy, a rich dude(Alex Cord) and some sexy younger folks are thrown together for some flimsy reason that only happens because the plot needs to move along. There's minimal nudity despite our main gals being in bathing suits and being horny for most of the film but the blood flow is very ample. An ALIEN-esque chestburster is teased but never happens. A fun stupid one from the dumb 1980s. 

Released in Norway as KILLER CAT:

DEATH SHIP (1980)

 George Kennedy gets possessed by some evil old Nazi sailor ghosts on a mysterious ship of death! This one starts out with a bang as a cruise ship gets totaled by our naughty titular boat but then settles in to what's basically a disaster film crossed with a ghost movie.  Not sure that it works all that well but it's fun seeing Mr. Kennedy gradually become an unhinged psycho.   

Known in Danish as HEADING TOWARDS DEATH!:

TARZAK AGAINST THE LEOPARDS MEN (1964)

  No that's not a typo, but the actual onscreen title of this 60s Eurotrash Tarzan rip-off flick. The original Italian title is TARZAN VS. THE LEOPARD MEN. When I think of Tarzan movies(technically our heroic jungle man is dubbed Zoltak in English prints but it's pretty obvious who he's supposed to be) clearly the highpoints were way back in the 30s and 40s and this one comes off as more of a Hercules in the jungle adventure than anything resembling those. Ralph Hudson as Zoltak/Tarzan surely has the fit body but his curly red hair kinda stands out. I found this to be quite the snooze-inducing chore to get through. AKA APEMAN OF THE JUNGLE