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A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!

A mad journey into the mind of the depraved!
Recommended for devolved primates only!

Friday, April 27, 2012

BEAKS: THE MOVIE (1987)


 Rene Cardona Jr. was responsible for tons of crappy Mexican exploitation movies over the years.  For this one I guess he took a trip to Spain and decided he wanted to do his own version of Hitchcock's THE BIRDS(and crazily enough this was actually released as a sequel to THE BIRDS in Italy).  While the plot might be sorta similar this movie doesn't quite live up to it's classic predecessor.  Maybe because the main killer birds in this movie appear to be played by pigeons or doves that look like they are being tossed at our victims.  This looks fucking ridiculous and destroys any kind of scares Mr. Rene might have been hoping to create.  He really shoulda stuck to the large hawks and whatnot that show up sporadically but I guess those are more expensive to get a bunch of.  There's also supposed to be a worldwide apocalypse happening with bird attacks everywhere but the most we see is a few random killings and not even that many birds seem to be involved!  The other obvious problem I have with this movie is that they title it "THE MOVIE" as if there was a TV show or perhaps a paperback novel that also existed.  I find that highly doubtful.  It's alternate titles of EVIL BIRDS and BIRDS OF PREY are way better.   I think one of my favorite scenes in this whole mess is when a guy is laying dead in the back of an ambulance with a couple of little scratches on his face and a cop comes over and covers him with a blanket and says "Torn to pieces. Just how we found him."  I would say skip this movie but it is so dumb that it might be worth watching at least once for a chuckle.  We also get to see eyes plucked out and our main actress gets naked and soapy for a brief instant so that's a plus and if you don't like birds you get to see a bunch of them get shot to bits right out of the sky.

I really shoulda just watched this 3 minute version:

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